The girl who passes through life in a daze

next destination

2011-03-27T03:01:00.003+11:00

Bangkok. honestly if given the time and money, this city will not even be on the list.

i never enjoyed my time in bangkok. the city gives me the creeps. it has been like 7 years since i last been there. it is just overflowing with white men who leave their footprints all around. i am giving it a second shot because a friend is working there and i get to fly for free!

for me, i need to go on holidays to appreciate my country better. Somehow, when i stay for an extended period of time here, the country gets to me. Life gets to me. it is so hard to get a balanced lifestyle, impossible. i struggle between doing what i like and how much i get paid. it is a constant battle. it gets so depressing at times- alright, i am going to stop here cause i don't even want to get started.

i am thinking if i should stop thinking and just jump straight in.

2011-02-27T03:10:00.002+11:00

i like having my fortune told (maybe cause i like hearing nice things about myself)

one thing that stood out for me was:

Mr Seah (fortune teller) told me that by hook or by crook, i have to get married by this year.
If i do, i will have a blissful and happy marriage, and a great life ahead.

that sounds like a damn good proposal.

Now i got to go look for a guy so as to enjoy a good life ahead. how ironic.

the singaporean way of proposing

2011-02-18T03:20:00.002+11:00

the normal, typical way would be:

"we are going to get married, he just proposed with a ring"

the singaporean way:

" we just bought a house"= we are going to get married

men are from venus, women are from mars

2011-02-01T00:32:00.002+11:00

we sing a different tune.

To illustrate my example:

I came back to office today and there was a bouquet of flowers on my table (Eeks, i am definitely not a flower person. if i could recall, the last time i received flowers was when i was 15 and i remembered clearly that i threw it into the bin)

And so, i was freaked out over the sight of flowers, not one but twelve!

I found out who sent it and this was what i said:

"Hey XX, thanks for the flowers! However, i think you should give it to someone who will appreciate it more"- i thought this message was clear enough that i am not even the tinest bit interested in XX

What this was what XX replied:

"Nah just a token from me and also an appreciation for the saturday date"- I nearly fainted, because i thought i was being very direct in my answer. SHIT! Now how, brown cow! I totally have no idea what XX is thinking.

Maybe it the fault lies with me for agreeing to meet him for coffee/lunch this Saturday. Honestly, I never saw it as a date. I just saw it as going out and meet new people, getting to know more friends. I don't blame XX because if we were to turn it the other way, I would similarly have thought that the girl might be interested.

How does one deal with a situation like this? How do you tell someone that "hey i am just meeting you purely because i just want to be friends, and not because i think you might be a potential partner?" I know i am at fault too, i do sound like i am "stringing him along", but the last thing i want is this!

No idea on how to resolve this without the akwardness and strangeness. But you will be glad to know that i did not throw the flowers away this time. (Because my friends commented that i was super duper evil the last time) I am also learnt to not be so harsh. Who knows when will be the next time i will be receiving flowers eh?

2011-01-22T01:40:00.001+11:00

working drains me out.

poker face

2011-01-01T20:10:00.003+11:00

while partying last night, a friend commented:
" Jen, you are completely emotionless. you don't have any form of expression on your face! you are like a dead fish"

this is not the first time that i am hearing this, and i get that all the time from my friends.

my deadpan expression and voice.
i guess you really don't realise it until someone points it out.
but then again, it is not like i can do anything about it.
even though i am completely entertained, i still have that bored look on me.
is it a bad thing? i cannot control it.
i just know that i felt slightly annoyed to have someone put it across to me. to the point of being offended.

the good thing is that it helps when i am playing poker.

on another note, HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2011 here i come!

supermarket frenzy

2010-12-28T21:52:00.003+11:00

the past 2 days have been awesome!
maybe because i don't have to go to work.
i have to say singapore is still as crowded as ever, despite it being a tuesday afternoon.

went to see my good ole dentist at jelita and took a stroll in cold storage.
i love browsing through a supermarket.
i particularly love the cold storage outlet at jelita and king albert park,
partly because it is so quiet, bright and stocked with yummy food.
the supermarkets back in aussie were mother huge,
and i can literally spend hours inside,
going through the lanes and trying to stop myself from buying things that i don't need.

the fact that i was living alone back then gave me a reason to go to mart.
back home in singapore, my mum does that for the family, thus there is no need for me to even venture in unless there is something urgent that i require.
a very big difference in lifestyle i must say.
i attribute my supermarket frenzy today to lack of experiencing it here in singapore.

oh well, the new year is just round the corner.
i can almost smell 2011.

best wishes for the new year people :)

2010-12-19T15:32:00.003+11:00

i hate to say this, but 24hrs in a day is not enough for me.
i spent 3/4 of the time working and 1/4 of the time sleeping.

what about time for myself?
i think i belong to the group of people who needs to have "me" time.
as much as i do love spending time with my friends,
i equally love spending time with myself doing things that i enjoy.
having met someone recently also meant that weekends were spent on "getting to know you",
and after 2 weekends of that,
i am starting to miss having those weekends for me, myself and i.
don't get me wrong,
it is not like i am not enjoying those moments- cause i truly do,
it is just that i suspect i enjoy moments with myself slightly more?

i think i am simply selfish individual who values myself more than others.
i just love the idea of lazing around at home in my PJs,
and that is what i am going to do, at least for this weekend.

i do, i think.

2010-12-13T00:23:00.003+11:00

As cliche as it might be,
with words of i love you,
and the eternal pledge of being together forever,
attending a wedding does make me feel like getting married. (even if it is just for a while)
it makes the promise of having a life partner sound very attractive.

2010-12-07T23:56:00.001+11:00

if a guy is interested in you,
he will call.

if a guy is interested in sleeping with you,
he will also call.

2010-12-03T00:03:00.002+11:00

And so.... I started having the urge to write once again.
Though i am not too sure where to start or how to start.

i feel a little dislocated and lost, and strange.
it is like i have not spoken or seen someone in a super long time,
and i am slowly warming up once again,
remembering how it was like.

so be patient, it will get better.

2010-08-01T01:33:00.002+10:00

yes it has been a while.
i have been trying to adjust back to life in singapore,
and of course,
furiously trying to look for a job.

i have not found one, but i have made some foothold into the industry that i am interested in which is good. nothing concrete so far, but i am crossing my fingers and hoping that something will come up soon.

what i am happy about is that Singaporeans are in general very willing to help out unemployed me, which actually took me by surprise.
i thought it was only australians who were open to helping others out,
but singaporeans are a helpful bunch as well.

realised that i have definitely become more impatience.
i used to have no problems waiting 15 mins for the train (in melbourne) but when i got back, i was complaining about waiting for 4 mins for the next train. hahaha. i attribute it to the heat which is really a pain in the ass. the heat and humidity makes me so irritated! argh! hahaha
i have to admit that it is good to be back in the arms of family, friends and affordable food.

clear skies people :)

2010-07-17T10:01:00.002+10:00

Dear melbourne city,

thank you for this wonderful one and a half years.
it was such an exciting experience for me,
to become accquainted and familiar with you,
exploring the hidden alleyways,
the darker and artsy side of you.
exposing my taste buds to the coffee world,
to such an extent that i would travel all over the city just to have a good cup of coffee.
you have moulded me into a coffee snob, such that starbucks, coffee bean and gloria jeans
are beneath me.
how i love exploring the quirky designer shops,
the second hand markets,
the roof top bars,
and the amazing array of food.
oh, not to forget running along the beautiful yarra river. the easiest way to clock 10km.
most of all, you make chilling out cool.
you make it acceptable (encourage it even!)to kick back with a cup of good coffee and idle the day away.

this chapter is about to end.
i'll come back soon melbourne city.
you will always have a special place in my heart.

until then, ciao.

the spirit of spain... in the heart of melbourne

2010-07-14T23:12:00.002+10:00

MOVIDA is simply out of this world.
awesome food, charming waiter, affordable prices.
it is definitely the best spanish restaurant in Melbourne.

if you are planning a visit to melbourne,
make it a point to do a reservation (a month before).
it is worth it.

www.movida.com.au

the hottest chef in town

2010-07-12T23:34:00.002+10:00

josh emett. head chef at gordon ramsey's new restuarant in melbourne.
i normally like my men asian,
but he is just so hot :) hahaha.
i can't remember the last time i got so excited over the opposite sex.

2010-07-06T08:16:00.002+10:00

i am just too bored. thats all.

please don't think that it is anything more than that.

huffing and puffing away

2010-07-04T12:35:00.002+10:00

i finished the 14km that i signed up for.
i am well aware that it is nothing much compared to the half marathons and full marathons,
but i am glad that i actually completed the race.

the reason why i signed up for it?
i have a housemate cum classmate by the name of Annie,
and both of us would go for a run every alternate mornings at the park near our place.
it has become part of our daily routine,
wake up around 730 ish, go for a short 5km run and then coffee afterwards.
i just thought since we run so much together and spend a ridiculous amount of time exploring coffee shops littered around melbourne,
it will be great to at least do one official race together to commemorate the times that we had,
and to create lasting memories to bring home to.

i am really glad that i did this race.
i am pretty sure i won't put myself through another race (but like they say, never say never)
i had to get up at 630am with temperatures hovering around 5 degrees, i was freezing in just a jacket and ended up with blisters. argh.

i am now completely exhausted. not to mention, very sore muscles.

the art of travelling, alone

2010-07-01T11:34:00.004+10:00

i have never before in my life gone on a holiday on my own,
apart from my flying days with SQ which is hardly a holiday.

it started out as a trip planned with another friend,
however due to unforseen circumstances,
i ended up having to travel alone. (since i had already booked my tickets)

and i have to say that it is not that easy to be exploring a city on your own.
much less travelling on your own.
i reckon one of the reason why people travel with their partner/friends is that there is someone who is going to be in the same boat as you. if you get lost, there is someone who is lost with you. if you have seen the most gorgeous view, there is someone next to you who is sharing the same majestic moment with you. that is the beauty i believe in travelling with people.
i have to admit that i was feeling a little apprehensive about the trip because i knew there was nobody to depend on and to get lost together. (i really hate getting lost, it terrifies me)
the bottom line was: i never thought that i was capable of going somewhere foreign on my own and i secretly was envious of the individuals that were able to do it.

on hindsight, i am glad that i did the trip.
i met the most amazing people on the trip, mostly much older folks who had interesting stories to tell. having no companion on the trip forces me to step out of the familiarity and mingle with others. it is not like i am anti social or anything, but there are times (many times in fact) that i don't take an effort to talk to a stranger because i know that i won't see him/her again (so what is the point?) what i have learnt is that human beings are social creatures, even if the rare few don't look like it. hence, if one individual is able to make the first step (which is the most difficult), most people are actually willing to share their stories and have a chat. yes, i admit that at times it might not be the most interesting, amusing, mind blowing, stimulating, profound conversation, and that there are possibilities of the silent pauses where you search frantically in your mind for a topic to fill in that awkwardness, i am fortunate enough that on this trip there was none.

my housemate believes that there is always a reason why you meet certain individuals in your life. some just for a spilt second, some of a while, others for life. i got to admit that this trip have made me a tad more inclined towards this optimistic belief. (i am a pessimist, some call it realist) this is not a life changing experience, though it sounds dangerously like one.
it was just an awesome travel experience that rejuvenated my zest for life, and beliefs in notions such as friendship and relationship and travelling.
afterall, that is what a purpose of a holiday is afterall, to mull over the past and recharge for the future, to rediscover a tiny part of yourself and to realise that the world is such a big place.

the art of travelling alone: i have only just started to take this small but big step to discover, see and understand the world in a different way.

2010-06-22T12:30:00.001+10:00

off to adelaide- supposedly the most boring place in australia.

wish me luck!

2010-06-15T11:59:00.001+10:00

never thought i will say this,

but i am almost done with my research assignment :)

feels mighty good.

a tiny little fraction of a whole

2010-06-10T10:40:00.003+10:00

attended a seminar organised by the tourism research unit yesterday.
it was a platform for in the process, soon to be, just received their PHD students to present their research studies in front of all the established academics.
basically it was a room full of brilliant people.
i would imagine that it would be freaking nerve wrecking to be standing up there with people who know so much more than you and having them ask questions.

it felt a little surreal for me.
the only contact that i have with these people are through the mountains of journals that i have read. and to actually see some of them in person, well, they are not what i imagine them to be.
it is strange how when you hear your friend speaking about another individual, you envision and create a image of the person based on that.
when i read a book, i naturally assume that the style of writing would reflect how the person would be in real life.
when i listen to a song, i imagine that the singer/composer would encompass a feel or display characteristics which are present in the lyrics.

in reality, the same person that you perceived to be is often not what you perceive to be. does it make sense?
i guess what i really want to say is that don't judge, or don't have preconceived notions of a person based on the books that he writes, what others think about him or the songs that he sings.
because it is just a tiny little fraction of a whole.

the difference between men and women

2010-06-05T12:14:00.003+10:00

kelvin tan laments about winter because all the girls are covered up
with layers and layers of cloth= no skin.

I on the other hand, have no complaints about men when it comes to winter,
cause i think most men look really attractive and smart in their cashmere pullovers,
and nice wool jackets and a subtle coloured looking scarf.
And of course, shoes. no slippers/sandals/thongs cause it is far too cold.
if there is one thing good about winter,
it is the men.

2010-06-03T14:53:00.001+10:00

day dreaming about prince charming

2010-06-02T09:53:00.001+10:00

winter is officially here!

flatulence

2010-06-01T11:11:00.005+10:00

i seem to have been inflicted with a farting problem?
well they always say that nobody knows your body better than you.
and i feel like i have been farting alot more this past 2 weeks.
i have never really kept count of the amount of methane i let out into the world,
and the only reason why i am noticing it alot more could be attributed to the fact
that i have been spending lots of time in the post grad lounge at school,
meaning public space where there are tons of people,
and i cannot "let it go" as freely as i want.

so i find myself trying to restrain and try to let it out silently.
and it is kind of difficult,
with every fart, i am praying and hoping that there will be 1) no sound 2)no smell
so far so good.

due to my unique predicament,
i went to google for reasons as to why i am farting so much.
And so the following information is what i have gathered from wikipedia:

1) Flatulence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals
2) The major components of flatulence are: could not believe that methane was such a small component! i assumed that fart was made up mostly methane, considering how they keep going on and on about the methane coming out from cows which is bad for the environment! maybe it is just the cows.
nitrogen- 20-90%
hydrogen- 0-50%
carbon dioxide- 20-30%
oxygen-0-10%
methane-0-10%
3)basically gas can be caused by indigestion of food or due to digestion of certain kind of food/air ingested through the nose or mouth
4) therefore, food such as lentils, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, brussel sprouts, garlic, dairy products, leeks, turnips, sweet potatoes, oats, wheat, cashews,onions, yeast in bread not only increases flatulence by increases the PUNGENCY of the flatus! (oh man.... my daily diet consist of mostly of oats, broccoli, cauliflower, garlic, diary products!) i just think it is strange that things that are good for health causes you to fart the most! it just does not make sense.
5) in the case of people who are lactose intolerant (which is me), drinking milk (which i do) will actually stimulate the production of these gas.
6) Rice is the only starch that does not cause gas.

And so now i know why. my diet plays a huge part in the production of these gases.
and it amazing how what you eat is what you shit, or rather what you pass out.
i have not decided if i am going to have a change in diet completely (especially when i reckon mine is a pretty healthy one), but i think i am definitely going to cut down my intake on some stuff.

oh did i mention that i just bought broccoli :)

2010-05-30T13:48:00.000+10:00

Red, Yellow, Green and Blue,

the perfect colours for a great day

2010-05-29T12:16:00.002+10:00

note:

if a guy is interested in a girl, there are some things which you must never, and i mean, never say to her. (even if it was meant to be a joke)

guy: stop eating those chocolates, you are fat!
girl: silence. if looks could kill, he would have been dead.
guy: i was just kidding, you are so thin!

and so, the judgement has been passed and set in stone.

P.S an additional tip, don't go screaming all of that in a room full of people. she is just not going to be able to look beyond that and fall madly in love with you.

behind closed doors

2010-05-26T21:46:00.002+10:00

some of you might have already known this,
especially Annie who have been listening to me go on and on.
the one good thing about going to the toilet is,
reading all the scribbles and "discussions" written on the walls of the cubicles,
it is so damn entertainining!
especially for me.
what else is there to do where one is in the toilet.
i saw one where someone "she was looking for love in australia" and someone replied "good luck, aussie boys are all stupid", someone stuck a note and asked "what does beauty means to you" and it got a range of responses, some philosophical to actually putting down a reference from a book. how hilarious and ridiculous is that!
of course there are the usual, looking for girl and the telephone number, but if you actually take time to sift through all the rubbish, you will actually discover some interesting ones.
and it cracks me up everytime.

i was thinking if i take pictures of all the interesting and memorable "quotes" and "intellectual discussions" and compile it into a book, with a title like "cubicle stories", it would be pretty interesting.

the girl who passes through life in a daze

2010-05-22T18:57:00.004+10:00

sometimes i am blown away by the ability of my mind to space out/daydream
this has happened to me before,
a couple of times in singapore,
and today on the tram back home.

i was just staring out of the window,
letting my mind wander.
i knew that i was going to get off at tram stop 42,
which was like another 3 stops away.
the next thing i know,
the tram is whizzing past my stop,
and nothing in front of me looks familiar.
i awaken from my drunken stupor,
and said "shit"!
it was as though someone magically cast a spell onto me,
and i was absorbed in my own mindless wonderland.

an old friend gave me a postcard once with my name on it,
it was written there that "Jennifer" meant a girl who passes through life in a daze.
that pretty sums me up.

here and there

2010-05-21T11:07:00.004+10:00

down with a flu.
trying to boost my immunity with lots of honey water, water, juices,
and all the healthy things. (though i can't seem to stay off the coffee)

i can't understand how i can be sick.
1) have been exercising
2) have been eating healthy good food
3) been sleeping for at least 8 hours every night
i have fulfilled the 3 most important criteria,
so why am i still susceptible to the virus? strange.
maybe i am just born with a weak body.

and so my sister is off to central asia for 5 weeks- to a series of exotic countries that i have to google to actually find out if they really exist: beijing-urumqi-almaty-tashkent-samarkand-bukhara-bishkek-kashgar-beijing-hong kong-singapore.
i am a tourism student and the only countries i recognised was beijing, hong kong and singapore. hahahah.
and so to share:
1) urumqi: is the captial of xinjiang, northwest of china
2) Almaty: is the largest city in kazakhstan
3) tashkent: is the captial of uzbekistan, which is formely part of the soviet union
4) samarkand: is the second largest city in uzbekistan
5)bukhara: is the captial of bukhara province of uzbekistan
6) bishkek: is the captial of kyrgyzstan
7) kashgar: is in the western part of xinjiang, part of china

amazing, how big the world really is.
there is so much to see and so little time.

2010-05-16T22:41:00.003+10:00

Ran my first 10km today :)

2010-05-15T12:37:00.004+10:00

this is the story of my life for the past month and for the upcoming month.
(including saturdays and sundays)

run
breakfast
school
lunch (school)
dinner (home)
sleep

the other day i had to travel to another monash campus to see a lecturer.
the moment i saw cows, i knew i was in the countryside.

2010-05-12T11:43:00.004+10:00

You know that a show is a hit, when even the girls are enjoying it.

what have i gotten myself into?

2010-05-09T11:18:00.002+10:00

Examine the role of animal parks in tourism.

that is the 10,000 word research topic that i have taken on.
it sounded easy enough and i thought that it would have been a breeze to get through it.

now. i don't know.
i guess one MAJOR issue that i have is, after reading through about 50 journal articles and 16 books, i have huge chunks of information and the problem of consolidating them into a structured paper. the more i read, the more ideas i get until they are like a tangled yarn ball, all jumbled up inside my head, screaming out to get picked.
every idea is important and interesting, one discussion leads to another and another.

take for example:
just take the definition for the term animal parks- there are like 4 different kinds, and then the need to further classify them into captive, non-captive, safaris, parks, etc.
that is not all. the big concern is : are they then "wildlife tourism", "nature based tourism", "ecotourism" or part of "urban tourism"? having to think about it just drives me crazy.

every cloud has a silver lining.
and i guess mine is that i have a month to write an awesome HD paper :)

of orangutans and me

2010-05-08T11:12:00.004+10:00

i am definitely not an animal lover.
but i do have a soft spot for the orangutans.
my research paper has forced me to drag my ass down to the zoo,
and i realised that,
i can just sit all day in front of their exibit at the zoo,
enjoying their company. (though i don't think they even give a shit about me. ha)
maybe it is their mild mannered ways,
or their sad intelligent eyes,
but i find them to be such alluring creatures.

i guess it is kind like a love at first sight kind of thing.
just that it is with an ape. haha (well, they did say that men kind of evolved from the great ape)
alot of my research has shown that most people are motivated by leisure to visit the zoo,
and that this comes into conflict with what the zoos see themselves as: which is an organization that places research and conservation at the heart.
most visitors end up not bringing home any of that conservation values, and thus comes the question of how effective are zoos in their perceived roles? is it necessary to even have zoos at all?

on my part, as an urbanised being the zoos did worked to some extent.
i fell in love with the orangutans.

John Mayer

2010-05-04T08:52:00.002+10:00

after all the anticipation, finally went to see John Mayer in concert last night.
sadly, it was not as good as expected.
mediocre at best.
the concert was to start at 730pm, but he only came out at around 845pm,
which would have been totally fine if it was a pumped up concert.
but he came across as "oh man, i just want to get this over and done with."
the concert just lacked "heart", "soul" whatever you want to call it.

well, his songs are still great. and he sure has a fantastic voice, he did an acoustic section and
it was WOW.

Lighting strikes,
Inside my chest to keep me up a night
Dream of ways,
To make you understand my pain.

Clouds of sulfur in the air,
Bombs are falling everywhere,
It's heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin,
No one really ever wins,
In heartbreak warfare.

If you want more love,
Why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
Why don't you say so?

-heartbreak warfare

2010-05-02T14:09:00.007+10:00

it is close to that time of the year,

where someone seemed to have pushed the fast forward button.

weeks are just flashing past, with nothing much happening in between.

most of the time is spent shuffling between home and school,

a mad rush to finish up reports and assignments,

reading through piles and piles of journal articles,

putting thoughts into words, ideas into action,

squeezing in runs and coffee sessions,

and above all, trying to enjoy my last semester in melbourne.

just some pictures that i took on my iphone from here and there,

sigh, a sure sign that winter is fast approaching.

my secret: the best place in melbourne to have coffee. but first you got to find it.
one of those days in melbourne where we were blessed with gorgeous weather.

managed to capture the last rays of light.

Ta! (means bye in Aussie slang)

2010-04-29T10:38:00.003+10:00

currently reading:

The Corfu Trilogy (Gerald Durrell)

it got me laughing like a maniac.

note: highly recommended for animal lovers.

2010-04-24T10:16:00.005+10:00

the warm sunny days are over!

cause tomorrow is another day,
and i am not afraid,
so bring on the rain.

cause tomorrow is another day,
and i am thristy anyways,
so bring on the rain.

-mesina jodee "bring on the rain"

got this off someone else,

life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

2010-04-21T09:31:00.003+10:00

i went into GNC(vitamin shop) wanting to buy just one product,
and end up comng out of the shop with 2.
i think i was conned to buying fish oil, something that i did not need.

hahah.
but it is just so hard to say no!
especially when the sales person persuades you using reasons such as:
it is really good for your health (how can you not buy something that is going to be good for you?)

and well... he seemed like he was geniunely concerned for my well being. Asked me how often i ran, which park, what kind of ground do i run on, what shoes do i wear, where exactly does it hurt (above/ middle/ below the knee- seriously i never knew there was a difference. to me it is just knee knee, who cares which part) sounds professional right?! he even wrote out like a "prescription" for me, which i subesequently threw into the bin when i got home. (how ungrateful am i?!)

P.S did i mention that he was kinda cute?

swing me away

2010-04-19T11:51:00.003+10:00

My foreign friends don't understand my fascination with swings.
Whenever we pass by one, my heart would flutter and sigh,
and i would be inevitably be drawn to them.

this fascination and love sickness stems from the fact that the singapore government had
single handedly eradicated all swings from Singapore, to the point that finding one now is
almost impossible. swings on like an endangered species, on the brink of extinction.
my children most probably will not know what a swing is.

which is a huge pity cause it can be a very therapeutic.
i am sure there are trillons of people out there who love sitting on a swing regardless of race or age. The comfortable, soothing motion of going up and down, the light breeze brushes through your hair, feeling the wind lightly caressing your face, your troubles and thoughts a million miles away as you try to go higher and higher.

so go on, take a swing.

2010-04-17T14:58:00.002+10:00

it is truly beautiful day today in melbourne.
a nice, comfortable 26 degrees
sometimes, a simple thing like the weather,
would make my day.

living in melbourne has made me appreciate the weather alot more.

australia's best kept secret...

2010-04-13T22:30:00.011+10:00

is me! hahah. considering how all the pictures are full of yours truly!
more pictures of Tazzie.
it just looks so amazing everytime.

at cradle mountain doing silly poses

registering before we go on a walk. log the time in and sign out when we get back.

the two guatemalians- Annie and Patrick. Managed to learn a few good phrases in Spanish. Puta!Want to take a perfect picture. Easy as 1, 2, 3. Especially when the background is so awesome.
Do not mess with a girl while she is preparing a meal

Check out Patrick at the corner!

Hmm.... can you spot what we are looking at?
Russell Falls

tazzie mania

2010-04-09T09:06:00.015+10:00

after this road trip to tasmania,

in my humble opinion,

i reckon it is the most beautiful state in Australia

before arriving onto tazzie soil,

i imagine it to be like the rest of australia.

what i realised was,

it is like the rest of australia,

but alot more.

it has the ultimate mountains (not like the ones in blue mountain),

the best ocean views (unlike great ocean road).

i am just going to let the pictures do the talking.

The above 3 pictures was taken at Port Arthur, which is one and a half hour drive from Hobart (city). Port Arthur used to be a convict centre, some of the buildings were built down by the fire thus looking incomplete. It was raining cats and dogs on that day. i don't know about then, but when i was there, the centre sure looked beautiful with gardens and what not. it resembled a little of gloomy london.

Annie just had to stop along the road when she noticed this. Not sure what happened here, but someone definitely lost their shoes. it was just tied to a wire fence, in a very isolated part along the east coast road.

Did not have the best food ever. But i swear it was the best dinner ever. Sitting on a big flat rock, with a fantastic view ahead of us. Was rushing to see the sunset, but missed it. But still managed to catch the last rays of light.

The beginning of a 4 and a half bushwalking trail to the marion lookout at cradle mountain. Incredible. The highlight of the trip for me. Reached the top and was rewarded with the most amazing view. As the saying goes, "no pain, no gain" There were a couple of aussies that attempted a 6 day trek, kudos to them!

shots that i have taken while in the campervan. most of the time i was snoozing off, so i reckon i have most probably missed out on alot more.

fixing a broken heart

2010-03-30T16:24:00.002+11:00

someone should just go ahead and invent a drug for the broken hearted.

i hate seeing someone in so much pain,
yet not being able to do anything.

hang in there, dear friend.
it is going to be alright :)

shoe fetish

2010-03-27T21:01:00.002+11:00

i am completely, hopelessly addicted to shoes.

F1 season.

2010-03-27T11:34:00.002+11:00

instead of waking up to my alarm clock,
i am waking up to the sounds of high speed cars zooming around albert park.

argh.

the downside to holding such international events,
is that while it might bring in the economic revenues (although, personally i feel that that is really quite dubious), satisfy the few F1 fans and international tourists,
it puts out the rest of the population,
especially the host community,
who will have their backyards swamped with strangers.
imagine, i am staying a distance away,
and can already hear the sounds of the cars,
what more, living right smack in the middle of where the action is taking place!

not a very lovely, melodious sound i would imagine.

just for the record,

2010-03-26T23:46:00.002+11:00

to clear misunderstandings,
and quell the excitement that was generated,

i am very much, still single.

2010-03-26T01:31:00.002+11:00

"uniquely singapore" is now changed to "Your Singapore".

the first thing that hit me was ???
if i was a visitor,
it does not tell me anything about singapore.
rather it comes across as pretty vague and meaningless.
not that "uniquely" represented anything,
but at least there was a hint of something exciting, prehaps.
definitely better than "your singapore"

wow

2010-03-24T23:03:00.004+11:00

there is one thing great about having such a global class.
i get to discover interesting little bits of details,
well, which are not very helpful in life,
but nonetheless, interesting and surprising.

1) the Estonians invented Skype
2) the Guatemala-ians invented happy meal and instant coffee

under the big blue sky

2010-03-23T19:45:00.002+11:00

it is comforting to know that,

someone out there is crying,
someone out there is laughing out loud,
someone out there is feeling disappointed,
someone out there is hungry,
someone out there has lost hope,
someone out there has found the courage,
someone out there is going through a difficult time,
someone out there is feeling lost,
someone out there is trying so hard.

so, i don't feel so lonely anymore,
under the big blue sky.

falling madly, crazily, stupidly in love

2010-03-22T13:07:00.003+11:00

a moment,
a minute,
a second.

hold on as tightly as you could.
straining, wanting, to take in as much as you can.
passion, lust rushing through our veins,
wanting to be joined together under those stars.
gasping, panting, wishing it would go on forever,
the shattering climax.

beer pong

2010-03-20T22:07:00.003+11:00

played "beer pong",
a typical american college drinking game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oIZ9bZoi3c
it is a no brainer game,
and just another excuse to drink.
but it was fun, especially when you have drank lots.

oh by the way, i lost the game.

a little sidenote,
i am going miss walking across the bridge to southbank.
it never fails to calm the mind and soothe the soul.

An education

2010-03-19T00:55:00.000+11:00

i want to enter the university of travel.

2010-03-17T10:10:00.002+11:00

for now,

i am living a life of a nomad,

but, more luxuriously.

cross my fingers.

2010-03-15T01:37:00.001+11:00

finally. a decent chinese boy.

no exceptions

2010-03-15T01:23:00.000+11:00

all men needs to be told.

words with friends

2010-03-14T05:23:00.001+11:00

is extremely addictive.

fly.free.

2010-03-12T15:20:00.003+11:00

will be trooping home in a few days.
with a much lighter baggage.

judging by how things are heading,
i reckon that this semester will be a good one.
considering that i only have classes once a week,
and no exams,
just sounds downright delicious and tantalising.
i am already licking my fingers,
and contemplating about the plans i have in store for myself.

so far;

1) john mayer's concert!
2) tazzie trip in a campervan during the easter holidays
3) gulping down tons and tons of coffee ( in singapore you got to travel far and wide for the perfect cup of coffee)

more to come. maybe a trip to north queensland.
heard so much about cairns, how can i not make a trip up there to see for myself.
definitely a trip to adelaide, south australia,
barossa valley, the land of fine wine.
a road trip would be great since it is just 6 hours away.

clear skies ahead folks.

2010-03-08T00:32:00.002+11:00

this week,
for the first time in my life,

i watched a movie in 3D,
i changed a light bulb on my own,
seen what a starter looks like.

same same but different

2010-03-03T11:31:00.003+11:00

thats why i think i am not your average normal adult.
i dreamt that i was married, to a GIRL!
and i was really really happy.

2010-03-02T00:34:00.003+11:00

it always take a little while or rather a long while for me to digest the truth,
though it is laying there bare,
right in front of me.
i guess i choose to ignore it.
some people might call it as being in denial.

fortunately, or unfortunately, depends on how you look at it,
there comes a time,
when i finally have the courage,
or rather, when i am resigned to fate,
that nothing is ever going to change,
that things are going to what they are,
that i choose to stand before this truth,
and take it all in.

no, i am not upset.
i am just facing up to reality.
a few months short.

saw this on a note that is stuck onto xiao's wall,

"having eyes, but not seeing beauty;
having ears, but not hearing music;
having minds, but not perceiving truth;
having hearts that were never moved and therefore never set on fire.
These are the things to fear."
- The little girl at the window Totto Chan

i do fear.
that this heart of mine is going to give up on me.

bye for now.

2010-02-27T15:32:00.003+11:00

sent a dear friend off at the airport last night.
as always, nothing is normal with her.

firstly she arrived pretty late at the airport for check in.
normally a person leaving would come early to an airport (especially when there is an entourage coming to send you off),
check in,
and then have a nice little chat with the rest of your friends.

Following that, her luggage was over loaded.
she had to take out 12kg worth of stuff.
and only had 10 mintues to do that.
7 of us tore open her bags apart and frantically started to remove unimportant things.
An invasion of privacy, i would say. but what must be done, must be done.
it was really a sight to behold.
but we made it in the end.

And so all checked it, and it was a mad rush to the gates.
and the hugs, kisses, some tears and goodbyes!

Goodbye tern.
have a good, fun, enriching, wonderful, butt whopping experience.
you definitely will be missed.

my outlook for the years beyond

2010-02-27T15:18:00.003+11:00

The mother dragged me to a "crystal teller" to have an forecast for the year ahead, and the years beyond.
the difference between a "crystal teller" and a "fortune teller"? not much.

i am not too sure i like what i am hearing,
but all in all,
it sounds alright.
i guess nobody likes listening to all the bad stuff,
and yet you can't help but get interested in knowing more juicy details about your life.

and so just some snippets from the forecast, the ones that i can remember.
1) i would eventually be more successful than my husband. The only person that i can depend on is myself
2) i should try to think before i shoot my mouth off, or else i am going to get into some trouble
3) if i managed to do the above point number 2, the year will be a good one for me. Since last year was supposedly a very unlucky year for me
4) my first relationship is a stepping stone for me to ensure that the next one will be a good one.
Supposedly, it was good that my first serious relationship failed. Cause this means that the next one will be a good one. I guess that places matters into perspective.
Don't they always say that things happen for a reason.
5) career wise, it will be good. and even better for me if i choose to work in a bank. (argh, that is the last place that i want to be in) oh and i would do good in sales position as well (another area that i have not taken a liking to)

like always,
i am going to remember all the good stuff,
and take the bad ones with a pinch of salt :)

i am just being optismistic what.

i have made the first essential step....

2010-02-26T01:14:00.002+11:00

of booking my tickets to Tasmania!

2010-02-20T15:10:00.002+11:00

most often than not,
i hate attending parties/gatherings where i hardly know a soul.
i just feel tired of trying to have "superficial" conversations with people that i meet for the first time.
so i have all these reservations even before going.
ironically, when i do end up going (by force/no choice),
i always end up having a great time!

last night turned out to be fun.

P.S maybe the fact that there were a couple of cute guys there made all the difference :)

hmmm....

2010-02-19T01:27:00.001+11:00

received a jab in the ass today.
wonder what was the first thing that came to the doctor's mind when he saw half my ass.

2010-02-13T02:14:00.000+11:00

finally a long break!

GONG XI FA CAI!

silly old me.

2010-02-12T00:53:00.004+11:00

woke up bright and early this morning.
this morning in particular, i decided to wear my flip flops to work instead of the usual flats.
i was thinking i would change into my flats once i arrive at work.
so i happily placed my flats into a sperate bag.

la, la, la.
arrived at work.
met my colleague, who asked me if i wanted to go buy a drink.

i replied saying "okies, let me change into my shoes first."
went to open up my bag,
and TA DA,
found only one side of the shoe.

i forgot to bring the other one.

a quick update

2010-02-11T00:42:00.004+11:00

i have been working at the zoo now for nearly 2 weeks in the HR department.
so far it has been alright.
one highlight would be:
a behind the zoo tour to take a look at how the rest of the team operates!
it was really interesting, looking at the mega huge bugs, touching caterpillars( they feel like marshmallows!!) and thinking how something so ugly can turn into such beautiful things!
it is kinda ironic how in a place where the belief lies in protecting animals, they too breed animals to feed them to other animals- such as mice, chicks, etc.
these small cute animals are all food to be fed to snakes, toads, etc. born to be fed.

just to touch on the last post where i was ranting and raving about how horrible it is to work in singapore, i have to say the good thing that comes out of it is that i get so caught up in my small little bubble that i hardly think about anything else.
A routine, thats what it is. i am starting to establish one.
if i am not careful, i am going to end up like those old women who died in their homes and got eaten up by their cats. eeks.

i have also shifted temporarily to clementi for the next month or so before i head back to melbourne on the 15th of march.
this is the fourth/fifth time that i am moving and this is the first time that i am old enough to experience how inconvenient the whole process is.
in the past, i was still young. so there was mum around to organise and pack all my things for me. this time round i had to do everything on my own, in case mum throws away something important.
shifting house marks the end of the last of my memories.
moving out, moving on.

am i suppose to be glad

2010-02-08T23:09:00.003+11:00

and thankful that:

1) i managed to leave work at 630pm on the dot today
2) i managed to reach home in time to catch the 9pm drama
3) i don't have to work weekends
4) i managed to find the time to read the papers

why is it such that people are expected to work doubly hard?
i look at the faces all around me, on the buses, trains, at work,
and i don't see a smiling one.
i see people buried in newspapers, dozing off, staring blankly into space.
everyone is hurrying off somewhere- to work or back home.

is it too much or even unrealistic to want to achieve a work life balance.
am i asking for too much?
is there a place for someone like me in society, or will i get left behind?
i just feel that it is cruel and highly hypocritical to preach to your employees about a balanced lifestyle, when most of them can't even leave the office on time.

a friend said that he is going to work really hard for the next 15 to 20 years of his life,
and then enjoy the fruits of his labour.
what happens then to the 15-20 years that have been "lost" to working your ass off?
i guess ultimately, it boils down to whether you will regret it by the time you have made enough.

is this the price that i am willing to fork out? not really.
what options do i have?
what do i have to give up?
this is the frustrating part- the fact that i can't have the best of both worlds. ha.

i would like to insist that i am not a lazy employee.
i am willing to work hard.
just that if this goes on for the next 15 years,
all i am left with is an empty shell.

2010-02-08T00:49:00.001+11:00

i can't deal with exhaustion and tiredness.
i know it is bad,
but i just let things slide.

2010-02-06T22:24:00.001+11:00

all i needed was a listening ear.

2010-01-27T22:51:00.002+11:00

i still love the sight of a plane in a sky.
it never cease to amaze me, this wonderful invention.
my heart flutters and do a little dance within.

i think watching planes take off into the sky is one of the most romantic things to do.
watching it slowly fade into the dark velvet blanket,
on its way to the other side of the world.
i could definitely do this all night.

the romance of travel lives on.

don't want the fun to end

2010-01-22T01:47:00.004+11:00

i am reading an awesome book.
i can't stop turning the pages,
but somehow i am restraining myself from reading it.
it is like i don't want it to end,
cause i know,
when i down to the final pages,
i am going to feel this tinge of sadness,
that something good has come to an end.

896 +3 years

2010-01-22T01:36:00.005+11:00

2010-01-16T21:43:00.000+11:00

it is digustingly hard to be friends.

2010-01-15T16:18:00.001+11:00

people are getting married for all the wrong reasons

2010-01-12T22:11:00.003+11:00

can i just say that Roald Dahl is brillant, brillant, brillant!
even at the ripe old age of 25,
i am still memerised, entralled, cpativated by his stories.

imgine that. 10 years down the road, and i am still enjoying the stories,
maybe even more than ever.
armed with an extra 15 years of experience,
i am now reading through a very different set of eyes,
thereby enjoying the book in an older, wiser way.

recently bought a Roald Dhal book -Boy/Going Solo where he speaks about fragments of his life which he could remember and their impacts on his writing.
terribly interesting!
now i know why he portrays certain characters as such.

highly recommended to all.
we are never too old nor young to read roald dahl.

2010-01-09T21:37:00.003+11:00

i feel lousy.
and sorry for those kids.

there are really horrible mothers out there,
who don't give a shit about their children,
who forgets their strength,
and go round slapping their kids,
treating them like animals.

if it is already like that in public,
i cannot imagine what it is like at home.

2010-01-09T11:46:00.003+11:00

i spent the whole of yesterday reading the lost symbol by dan brown.

got to say Da Vinci Code is still the best.
i have read angels and demons too.
and i realised that it was basically more or less the same,
which gets boring after a while.
during the first half of the book i was reading reading.
after that i was just skiming through what Langdon had to say.

the thing with dan brown is that,
the terms that he used could be pretty cheeem.
or maybe it is just me, but i had to re-read some stuff just to get the idea.
you buy a book and you want to enjoy it without thinking much.
like going on a holiday, you are doing it more so for pleasure rather than anything else.
or maybe again, it is just me.

i am pretty sure this will be the last dan brown book that i am reading,
unless it is an entirely new plot altogether.

P.S i am going to get re- acquainted with Singapore.

mirror mirror on the wall.

2010-01-08T13:04:00.004+11:00

this is what my single male friend has to say:

men are all bastards.
you just got to pick the least bastard of them all.

and then my question would be:
how would you know which one is the least bastard of them all?

if only i had that tell-all mirror in snow white and the seven dwarfs.
"mirror mirror on the wall, who is the least bastard of them all?"
but then again, ultimately the answer that you received from the mirror,
is just the reflection of what you truly desire of in your heart.

the heart holds the answer.
it just might not be the correct one.

2010-01-07T14:19:00.002+11:00

and so i am busy doing up my cover letter and resume to be sent out to prospective employers for an internship.

the only form of working experience which is not rubbish is my stint with SQ,
and while reading through, i was so tempted to put in an additional point which i feel should be commendable.

Singapore Airlines (nov 2006-Nov 2008)
Flight Attendant

-managed to successfully survived SQ for 2 years without any physical nor emotional damage.
now that is an accomplishment!

don't ask me why

2010-01-06T23:31:00.001+11:00

but right at this moment,
i feel like the stupidest, most silly, most foolish person around.

doodle jump

2010-01-06T22:03:00.004+11:00

i recently downloaded this game called "doodle jump" onto my iphone.
At the beginning, i was enjoying it tremendously.
i slowly got familiar with the game, and obviously became better at it.
but now, i seem to have hit the wall.
my scores have become stagnant, and i seem to be hovering around the 20,000 odd mark.
i have tried many times to better my score, but seem to fail everytime.

and i am getting tired of trying.
like with everything in life,
you can try and try and try,
but with each failure,
it just gets more difficult to convince yourself to try again.

you think, maybe this is highest score that i can achieve.
maybe this is the furthest that i can go.
maybe this is the best that i can do.
and then ultimately, (unless you manage to beat that score)
i will internalise, accept and believe that this is the best of my abilities.
but is it really the best of my abilities?

which is what differentiates people.
some are persistent (and they just might end up reaping the benefits, not all the time though)
some give up after a few tries, ( they end up not realising their full potential, or maybe they just accept the fact that you can't be good at everytime, and "at least i tried.")
some don't bother trying.

i reckon you just need to have constant progession in your life to feel like you are indeed moving along.

and i am going back to my game. to try again :)

the ugly truth

2010-01-03T03:23:00.003+11:00

the truth may be ugly,
but at least my world is painted in black and white,
just the way i like it.

2009-12-31T14:51:00.002+11:00

don't get me wrong,
i do love my mum.
it is just that sometimes her actions render me speechless.

while sleeping soundly,
i received a phone call.
what was flashing on the screen was "home",
and i was royally puzzled.
in my half asleep state, i answered and it was my mum using the house phone to call me. (implying that she was at home when she rang me)
"jen, where are you?"
"mum! i am sleeping in my room. what the hell."
"okays, bye."

new year resolutions

2009-12-30T15:55:00.004+11:00

i am well aware that one new year resolution is already extremely difficult to abide by,
but since i made 5 ambitious ones last year,
i decided to stick with 5 equally ambitious ones this year.

so here goes:

1) approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
2) stay hungry. stay foolish.
3) stay healthy.
4) don't settle .
5) fight my own battles.

2010 here i come!

2009-12-27T18:39:00.004+11:00

because i am not going to get beaten down by life.
because i am not going to get jaded, disillusioned, angry, bitter.
a friend once told me to "strive for happiness"
at that point of time, it seemed very inapproriate.
but on hindsight, i could see why he said that.
i guess it is only when you are striving for something, that you would be motivated to move forward.

yes, i am going to feel stupid, lost, confused and above all sad,
i am going to be called naive, foolish, dumb, crazy,
i am going to be hurt, cheated on, not loved in return,
but it is alright,
because i believe that if i sit here quietly and put my heart and soul in believing that it will come,
it eventually will.
everything ,whether good or bad, will definitely have a closure.
it is just a matter of time.

because i am not going to lose myself to the harsh realities of this world :)

2009-12-25T12:29:00.003+11:00

the aftermath of having too much red poison in my system:
i have a huge craving for a cold milo drink and spicy instant korean noodles.

2009-12-24T23:36:00.000+11:00

have yourself a merry little christmas :)

merry christmas everyone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!

2009-12-18T13:57:00.004+11:00

stay hungry. stay foolish.

2009-12-14T20:19:00.002+11:00

while walking home from the train station today,
i was just thinking over about my 2010 new year resolutions.
i was going to put down
"be less naive and foolish"
and then i read this from shooby's blog:(about what steve jobs has to say)
http://iamshooby.xanga.com/

and i have decided to scrap that off next year's resolution and change it to:
stay hungry. stay foolish.

guess who part 2?

2009-12-13T22:14:00.000+11:00

guess who?

2009-12-13T22:03:00.004+11:00

emerged from the ladies and got caught on camera?

yeah it is a little blurry here. this fellow tried to escape.

but i was one step ahead!

P.S actually ah mor was too urgent and the male toilet was occupied (surprise, surprise cause normally it is the female toilet that is always busy!), so i told him to hop into the female one and ran out to grab my camera for this special, not to be missed moment.

through the looking glass.

2009-12-13T08:05:00.005+11:00

there in hunter valley lies a beautiful chapel.
i imagine a happily in love, soon to be wedded couple standing in front of a priest,
saying out their vows, exchanging their rings,
surrounded by family and friends who wish them well.
they look out,
and this is what they will see- a beautiful garden that stretches for miles and miles.
a lovely, perfect day that will be etched in their minds for a long time to come.

when i was in Fiji, i came across a beautiful chapel as well.
it had glass panels looking out into the ocean that stretched for miles and miles.
simply breathtaking.

it runs in the family.

2009-12-11T23:45:00.001+11:00

we are constantly on the chill pill.
and we do it so well :)

there is always a good reason to drink

2009-12-11T23:15:00.007+11:00

and boy did we!

like father, like daughter.

2009-12-05T01:09:00.001+11:00

highlight of the trip

2009-12-04T23:40:00.001+11:00

was at Apollo Bay when i spotted this.