it always take a little while or rather a long while for me to digest the truth,
though it is laying there bare,
right in front of me.
i guess i choose to ignore it.
some people might call it as being in denial.

fortunately, or unfortunately, depends on how you look at it,
there comes a time,
when i finally have the courage,
or rather, when i am resigned to fate,
that nothing is ever going to change,
that things are going to what they are,
that i choose to stand before this truth,
and take it all in.

no, i am not upset.
i am just facing up to reality.
a few months short.

saw this on a note that is stuck onto xiao's wall,

"having eyes, but not seeing beauty;
having ears, but not hearing music;
having minds, but not perceiving truth;
having hearts that were never moved and therefore never set on fire.
These are the things to fear."
- The little girl at the window Totto Chan

i do fear.
that this heart of mine is going to give up on me.